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- More than X Itemers: This is my ultimate pet peeve, these inconsiderate b*@tards who think they can just "sneak in" with their way more than allowed items. The ultimate in pretensions of privilege. AAARRRRGHHH!
- "Keep Moving" Lane Stoppers: I don't think these folks think they are privileged. I think they are scared and/or young drivers. I have to drive through one of these lanes daily and at least 2 times a week, I'm behind someone who comes to a full stop before continuing on. READ people! Part of your job as a driver is to read the signs on the road. There are people who have done BIG GOVERNMENT STUDIES on road signs to make sure they are readable, understandable, and not distractions.
- My Mattress: So on notice for being, while servicable, an uncomfortable mess. Your job, dear mattress, is to supply me with princess-like sleep. Get cracking.
- Wedding Dress Designers: What do you have against sleeves? There are so many options right now for sleeve lengths and styles! I'm sick of the backfat on less-than-svelte brides duped into thinking these often-whipped confections make them look sweet and heavenly. Stop propping up the strapless bra industry and design something gorgeous in your collection for the Bride-Who-Requires-Full-Upper-Body-Support-And-Doesn't-Want-To-Work-Out. My breasts and back will thank you...as will my guests!
- New Bathroom Towels: Enough with the lint. That is all.
- My (Messy) Apartment: With all the technological advances we have, can't we design a self-cleaning apartment? One with many hidden nooks and crannies to hide the things we want out of sight with the touch of a button? A smartpartment? At the very least, could you have enough self-respect to call a maid service to clean you up?
- I-Pods: OK...I know many of you own and love your I-pods. I have even toyed with the idea of purchasing one for myself. My sweet sister is the proud owner of such a beastie. But their market saturation has left me cold. You can walk up to an unmanned vending machine and purchase one in a shopping mall or airport. I'm still trying to sort the airport thing out. You'd have to have your laptop along for the trip so that you could actually have some tunes to listen to, wouldn't you? Anyway, I'm just sick of your overexposure, your 80's invoking advertisments, your insidious suggestion of your necessity to life in the new millenium. Wicked seducer, I will hold out as long as I can. You can't make me buy you.
- Rebates: We have scanners, faxes, email, online forms and I still have to photocopy all this crap, cut parts off of boxes, and send in my paperwork to get the money you promised me? Why not package a unique id number in each product box so that I can do the forms online? Oh, I get it--you don't WANT to give me this money. Yeah. So. On. Notice.
Comments
I'm with you, hun!
*smooooch*
Call me. :)
Posted by: me | August 29, 2006 10:32 PM
love your list Anita. btw, I think you should try to work the line "wicked seducer" into the honeymoon pillow talk. ;)
Posted by: ann | August 30, 2006 11:25 AM
Oh you will buy, my dearie. Resistance is futile.
Posted by: Monica | August 30, 2006 06:30 PM