Ch-ch-ch-changes
When I turned 30, things got weird. I don't mean they got weird afterward--after 30, I felt utterly and completely whole. I mean that they got weird beforehand. I felt itchy, twitchy, and even a bit of another rhyming word. I was electric, melancholy, and perpetually confused.
I'm thinking about that because I'm approaching 40. It's still a year off--have to pass through 39 first--but I'm already feeling the turn of the decade and wondering who I'll be becoming then, and what I'll be doing/feeling/thinking/seeing/saying. I was walking across campus a few minutes ago, mulling it over in my head, trying to see the end of that road, not wanting to be at the beginning. It's maddening.
And yet I'm really relishing it, the feeling of not knowing, the anticipation. It's delicious and energizing (even though every night when I get home, I positively exhausted). It's like I'm 7 and waiting for dawn to come so that I can see whether Santa got the memo.
***
Knitting continues on. and on. and on. I won't emerge victorious in the Ravelympics. As usual, I was far too ambitious. I'm pleased, though, that I've even been able to work on any project, since my time has been taken with settling into my new roles.
Comments
That's so great that you're looking forward to your birthday milestone.
Posted by: Christie | August 20, 2008 05:57 PM
That's so great that you're looking forward to your birthday milestone. So many people anticipate them with dread, so it's refreshing to her that you are greeting the new age with open arms.
Posted by: Christie | August 20, 2008 05:58 PM
I haven't been knitting much this summer at all. And I have a knitswap gift to buy for a partner I just didn't click with. I don't think I'm really cut out for knitswaps and I probably won't do one again.
Posted by: Gwen | August 21, 2008 02:07 AM