Wool & Words

A Peekture

Still waiting on professional pics, but until then...

Newly wed

Two Kitties

I wonder where they've been?

Wedding Mysteries

45 minutes it took to find, try on, purchase, and pack my wedding dress. 45 minutes. Easy. Peasy. Breezy.

4 hours to order invitations. The mind reels...

Brief Knitting Content and Miss Manners on Wedding Websites

I'm almost done with the main knitting on my vest; I'm working on the last pocket, and then it's just a spot of seaming, a mad wrestle with the button band (not looking forward to that), and the traditional whining at The Weaving-In of Ends. Good times will be had by all; photographs will be had soon.

Miss Manners and Wedding Websites:

So I was reading my local paper (AJC) and found today's Miss Manners' column thought-provoking. The reader question is about wedding websites; the reader describes what sounds like a typical wedding website, comments on the slick, overly-produced nature of it (in his/her view), and asks

Is this a new trend? Is the romance gone from weddings in the name of slick merchandising of the couple hoping to take in a truckload of gifts? Does one assume there will be a prenuptial agreement, too? It is all so showbizzy. I'd enjoy knowing what you think about it.

Miss Manners' response acknowledges the usefulness of the wedding website as a place to disseminate information that might have bulked up the invitation, but then goes on to say

The unlimited space on the Internet seems to have turned everyone into the person no one wants to sit next to on the airplane. And beyond the widespread general desire to pour out their lives and thoughts to all and sundry, lovers are notoriously susceptible to believing that they are the center of the universe and the envy of all.

Of course, they are influenced by show business. Do you think the couple has spent that long engagement gazing at each other? They have been working on the set, the costumes, the make-up, the props and the extras (that's you, the wedding guests).

So they not only create the promo but include a sort of illustrated fan magazine story about themselves.

Thoughts? When I read this, I felt that she had articulated a problem I've been unable to put my finger on as I go through this process, a sense that the material, keepable pieces of wedding representation today (the invitation, the photography, the website) feel to slick to me, too staged (even as the "journalistic" style of photography wants to be unstaged). But then I consider that we have an unprecedented amount of control in the process today that we couldn't have had even 10 years ago; we can create invitations and other paper-elements with our computers and easily print them on high-quality photo printers. We can set up a website specifically about our wedding, giving our guests an easy access point for wedding information, with links to hotels, registries, and other services they may need to access to attend the event successfully. We can share components of our special day with relatives who are living in different places with ease, and the assistance of vendors (like photographers who offer web access to photos--and ordering) makes it possible for Aunt Petunia to purchase (if she chooses) and entire set of photos to remember the special day.

And it just makes me feel so dirty. It's too slick, too plastic, too produced. I look at photographer's websites and the magazine-ready photos of real weddings make them seem unreal to me. They feel like so much style over substance, but I'm sure to the participants they feel like a real representation of their weddings and themselves--don't they?

cross-posted at my lj

Serious Shop-Fu

I went dress shopping today. My friend, karen-the-great, came with me to offer moral support and a keen eye. We left Athens at 8 a.m., drove to New Natalie's Bridal in Atlanta (our first scheduled stop), and went in for my 10 a.m. appointment. At 11 a.m., we walked out with my dress (!!!!) and headed to the Mall of Georgia to do a bit of celebratory shopping.

Yes, I walked into a bridal salon and purchased a gown off the rack within 1 hour. It was the third gown I tried on and I knew right away that it was the one. Since it was a floor sample, it needs some (minor) fixin', and since I bought it off the rack, it's a little too big, but that's all OK--with a few simple alterations, the gown will be perfect.

Now to figure out what to do for a veil. I've got my Barbara Abbey lace book out...

I Am Anne Elliot

...but I've decided not to whine about it. Sufficient to say, I've edited out the pity-party that was this post. Everything will work out fine; Steve and I will get married and the date/time/place really doesn't matter. With any luck, we'll be keeping the same day and switching the time. It's going to be good.

Heck, it'll be better than good.

On Weddings

A month or so ago, I posed a question or two to you all regarding wedding business. I've been percolating an idea in my head for quite some time now, and thought I'd share it.

I think a perfect name for a party planning company would be Reality Check. I'd love to sit down with brides (and grooms) to be, listen to the "it's my day and I'll do what I want" speech, and then give them my 30-something Wedding Reality Check. I'd want to say things like:

Going into a house worth of debt for a party is a Bad Idea.

Planning a fantasy means that the fantasy won't actually be achieved.

If the day were really "all about you", you wouldn't be inviting people to share it.

Put twice as much energy into planning the marriage as you put into planning the wedding. It'll last longer.

Your future mother in law can be your friend or your enemy. The way in which you approach her during the planning will determine the nature of the relationship. Tread carefully.

When you choose to marry in a faith community, you choose to marry in faith community. With community rules and standards. That may clash with your fantasy (see above).

And, I'm sure, a host of other bits. Do I think that you should marry in sackcloth and ashes? Only if you're Catholic and have chosen Ash Wednesday or Good Friday as the ideal day to tie the knot. But there's nothing wrong with demonstrating a bit of restraint.